August 26, 2011

10 Most Underrated Disney Movies

Like most children not living under a rock, I have seen many-a Disney movies, many-a times. Yeah, we know the favorites, like Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King. But what about the ones that don't get enough love? Some of them definitely DO NOT get the love and honor they truly deserve (in my opinion obviously, but we know my opinion trumps all anyways).

I could do the overrated movies, but that would just be me hating endlessly on Snow White...because I hate that movie so much it's frowned uponed in most societies. But that's for another day.

These movies are ones that I love to the moon and back, but nobody else seems to. Or, I will find that random person who shares this love and we both get super duper excited but then two minutes later we are in awkward repetition like "Yeah, Quasimodo is so hot...why doesn't anyone agree with us? We're the only sane people in this world!" For the record, I have nor will ever have that conversation.


Sleeping Beauty
I know, Disney CLASSIC, right? Princess Aurora is one of the most famous Disney characters and Prince Philip is a known STUD. However, if you really think about it, Sleeping Beauty is the least popular "princess movie". I say Disney Princess and you say...*yell respective Disney Princess*,
most of the time not Sleeping Beauty. You usually get bullshit like Belle ("she's so smart and pretty") or Cinderella ("classic princess, who wouldn't want that dress"). It's pretty underrated as princess movies go.

"Damn straight"

BUT IT SHOULDN'T BE

The story is simple. Hot smokin' babe of a prince Philip finds a young peasant girl in the woods. They have a nice time and decide upon their next rendez-vous. He decided to drop all his royal responsibilty for that girl, HOW ROMANTIC (it's actually a total douche move). However, as luck would have it, the girl is the SAME one he was promised to marry. That is fate, my friends. Philip and Aurora are meant to be. Can you say that about the other princess movies?

No, not really. Snow White has a stalker, Cinderella has a stalker, Ariel IS a stalker, Belle is under house arrest, Jasmine doesn't even WANT a husband, Pocahontas got syphillis (wait, I'm the only one who got that impression?), and Mulan is too kick ass to even need a man.

Just remember that underneath that dress is an ankle bracelet that will
go off if she takes another step.

Of course, it could just be that "Once Upon a Dream" is my absolute favorite Disney song and that Sleeping Beauty is my favorite Disney movie, so I'm waving the biased flag here.

Hercules
This is the "cult" Disney movie. I, of course being the cool Disney hipster I am had the soundtrack on tape (the late 90's were a wonderful time and listened to it BEFORE HERCULES BECAME COOL.



ARLLIGGHTTT

Actually, I still don't think Hercules is considered "cool" in the Disney catalog. It was just ok by critic standards and I don't really know anyone besides a select few who truly love this movie.  It's one of my favorites. It's very pop culture reference-y and the villain is waayyyy cool. My kind of movie.

Pocahontas
Historical  innacuries aside, Pocahontas is awesome....scratch that. The historical innacuries and general f-ups of Disney in this movie make it awesome. Some parts are wonderful, "Colors of the Wind" is one of the most powerful songs that the Disney company has come up with.

Yeah, it's  horribly innacurate...but who said it needed to be true? Yeah, little kids now think that Pocahontas was a supermodel who could jump off cliffs and was supposed to marry a man who's name sounds eerily similar to a Beach Boys song.

Kokoum...Kokomo?

Plus, only Disney would take a dude who looked like this.

Effeminite looking ginger
And make him look like this.

Sex on wheels

All while being voiced by this guy.

I love Hollywood


That aside, I think people tend to hate on Pocahontas for these very reasons and shun it because they think they should. So sad, because I think it's pretty enjoyable...just don't watch the direct to video sequel. They took historical innacuracies to a whole new level, all while giving John Smith a nice new batch of puns. Barf.


Oliver and Company

This movie makes me cry. Holy shit, I mean it's an orphan hobo cat who has to kick it with a motley crew of dogs. The beginning is actually so depressing I can't even watch it. Something about a cat being the last of his litter and not get picked at all is the most hearbreaking thing in the world to me.

"Bitch, get onnnnnn with it"
Right, I'm supposed to be getting you to actually watch it it. Anyways, this movie is adorable, probably because I have a soft spot for dogs and cats...mostly dogs, but Oliver is so cute. And honestly, if you use Billy Joel as a voice talent you know the songs are going to be on par...with 80's music standards.


The Aristocats

ANOTHER CAT MOVIE? I lied last time, I actually hate cats, but something about this movie just makes me smile. Seriously, even it's title is a pun...and I will tell you now, I love a good pun. You see, they're a sweet little family of cats who live with a rich bitch. So they're spoiled and live propserously, hence the name Aristocats...hehe so great. It's a sweet film that is perfect for little girls (and efeminite boys) who love cats. Though, I do wonder why the kittens father isn't in the picture...

Out of wedlock SLUT

Whorish kitties aside, this film is wonderful. I mean, Thomas O'Malley is so cool...and also a bit of a whore. Damn, this movie has a lot of whoring around....but I promise it's the best.

Robin Hood

WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE LIKE THIS MOVIE? Seriously, why didn't somebody make an adaption of Robin Hood with talking animals before? More importantly, why did they make an adaption with Russell Crowe 45 years later?

Should have stopped at Gladiator, mate
And you know what? Robin Hood is so foxy.

Literally

The Emperor's New Groove

You can take the emperor out of the palace but you can't take the llama out of the emperor...wait, this isn't about beastiality? AHHH ZING!

Oh my, I went there.

Childish jokes that weren't well thought out aside, The Emperor's New Groove is one of those "special" Disney movies made in the 2000's that has come and gone without much love. That said, it's the only one that actually deserves some. It's funny...as hell. I can't believe I'm saying David Spade is funny. No, just kidding The Benchwarmers and Dicky Robers Former Child Star are two movies I adore, so I'm NOT going to make fun of him.

As much as I desire to.


Peter Pan
So I realize the whole Neverland/Captain Hook thing is pretty popular, what with countless movies about it. Including a terrible one with Johnny Depp THAT ISN'T EVEN ABOUT PETER PAN. Seems Peter Pan is also pretty pop culture-y too AND Michael Jackson named his ranch after Neverland...so there's that. AND Tinkerbell...don't even get me STARTED on Tinkerbell. She's like Fraiser on Cheers...she gets her own show that is more popular than the one she was originally one.

The similarities are uncanny

Seems to me that Peter Pan is overrated...but I must ask you, when was the last time you actually watched it?

"Oh, at about 8:14 P.M"

The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Ok, I agree...the songs kind of suck and Frollo is probably the creepiest Disney villain (not in a good way...I think he's a rapist), but Hunchback is so badass. No, it doesn't follow Hugo's original work...seriously, the ending to that is depressing. AND yes,  APPARENTLY Esmerela ends up with the wrong dude.

Who are we kidding? Phoebus gets alllll the bitches

But Hunchback is pretty decent. One does not hear about it much, but it's one of my favorites to watch. Now this may be because I have a fairly large inside joke surrounding this entire film, but I still like it.


One Hundred and One Dalmations
This one is kind of like Peter Pan. Obviously, everyone has seen or heard of this movie. Everyone uses the name Cruella de Vil to describe someone evil (see: The Parent Trap) and everyone knows that Dalmation puppies make SWEET fur coats.

Cruella knows what's up
But again? When was the last time you actually saw this movie? The last time I did was a couple years ago, and before that I was probably five. Granted, it doesn't exactly have a lot going plot wise. It's pretty much a day in the life of the underground railroad...except with dogs, but it's a happy story. BTW, I have to add that I HATE rolly...like a burning hatred. He almost ruins everything like five times. One would think he could learn from his mistakes, but nooooo.

fatass

1 comment:

  1. Okay... Looks like I got here really late! :P
    Oh well, still thought I'd let you know how right I think you are! I swear if I find one more girl whose favourite Disney film is Beauty and the Beast, I'll turn into a beast myself!
    Sleeping Beauty is my favourite and I think it's highly, highly underrated. You just have to do some research to see how much effort Disney put into it. And the backgrounds are amazing, Aurora and Philip are my favourite couple and their meeting in the woods is quite possibly the most beautiful moment in any Disney film.
    Anyway... Hercules and The Emperor's New Groove are both amazing, I love them to death! And apparently I watched Peter Pan every day as a baby! Who knew?
    Just wanted to let you know how much I agree and that I'm happy there are other people in the world who think so.... Thank you!

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