June 7, 2011

Top Ten Guilty Pleasure Movies

I feel super uncomfortable with that title. For the record, this post is about the movies I hate to love. However, if they are bad movies, I promise I have a good explanation for why I love them. Actually, as I was writing this, I realized that some of these movies could be on My Favorite Movies of all Time, except I didn't want to lose my street cred by saying so.

So what makes a movie a guilty pleasure? Well, pretty much if you are embarrassed to admit your love for it/ the lines are so bad they're good/it's lame, yet you always find yourself watching it...then it's a guilty pleasure movie! These types of movies are a very important part of the viewing of films. If we take our movie viewing too seriously, we can never truly enjoy them. There is no shame (yes there is. especially if it's From Justin to Kelly ) in liking a bad film.

1.The Mummy (1999): I’m proud/ashamed to admit that I know every line of dialouge from this movie.Of course, it's not hard when every line is absolute gold. Like most seven year old girls in the early 2000's, I had a crush on Brenden Fraser (Wait? You say I was the only one? DAMN). Thus, I watch The Mummy more times than I care to admit. This movie started my early fascination with ancient Egypt...I used to check out countless books on the topic in my elementry school library. I thought I was really smart. I would love to be able to say that I don't watch it much anymore, but alas, I am watching it right now.

I pretty much just summed up the movie
for you with this picture

I think I liked The Mummy because of the action, adventure, and overall kick ass-ness. The storyline is interesting and I feel like there aren't many plot holes, considering how ridiculous it is. Rachel Weisz's character was my childhood hero. She was everything I wanted to be. She was super smart. She got together with Brenden Fraser's character in the end (Thinking back, I realize I really should have re-examined my priorities in life).

Anyways, I still love this movie. Corny action/adventure and all! Plus, the first one is not nearly as corny as it's sequels. The third one is absolutely unwatchable.

Best Corny Line: "I only gamble with my my life, never my money"

2. Silverado(1985): Easily one of the corniest movies ever, Silverado is the ultimate salute to the Western film genre. It has about every single cliche that you could ask for. However, it is actually a very good film. It is just so...awesome. There are some good fight scenes and "so bad it's good"dialouge. With such corntastic roles from Kevin Kline, Kevin Costner, John Cleese, Danny Glover, Scott Glenn, Jeff Goldbum, and the badass Lind Hunt, I ask you...what is not to love?

Imagine them riding in with Space Cowboy by NSYNC
playing in the background.

Best Corny Line:
Emmett [holds up pistol]: "Want one of these?"
Mal [holds up Henry rifle]: "This oughta do."

3. National Treasure (2004): Like The Mummy, I really liked National Treasure because of it's focus on history and the female lead (don't worry, I never had a thing for Nic Cage). Diane Kruger is awesome. I wish she was in more movies. Inglorious Basterds is the only one I can think of right now. It also has Sean Bean (loveeee youuu) as the villian. 

Nic Cage is studying the number of calories
in water very carefully.

Anyways, for obvious reasons, National Treasure is super corny. Mostly because every single word out of Nicholas Cage's voice is a goldmine of deep voice wisdom. I enjoy the part when they are underground and there is that endless pit of nothing...scares the hell out of me. I have always wished there are actually secret tunnels and stuff like that in famous buildings, or inventions by BFranks hidden in bricks. Maybe there are (woah I'm being super deep today). Perhaps I will become a treasure hunter when I grow up. I'll be Nic Cage's apprentice...his sorcerers apprentice. Ahhhh see what I did there?

Best Corny Line: "I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence!" (obviously)

4.Taken (2008): My dad made me watch this movie at least three times before I went to France. Needless to say, I thought I was going to be kidnapped and sold into a sex slave empire. It didn't happen (although this creepy guy did try to smell my neck...but that's a story for another day) so I was able to watch Taken again. Thank god, because this movie is too great. From the first scene, you know it is going to be a Liam Neeson good time! I also find it amusing that of all the teenagers that the foreign slave trade dude could have "taken", he picked the one who's father used to kick ass for a living. How unfair!

I hug my friends the same way

If it wasn't Neeson, it would have been a terrible movie. Somehow he keeps it fresh and somewhat (I say that very,very,very lightly) believable. However, this movie is really not as much as an action thriller as one might think. It's pretty predictable. A friend of mine once said of this movie "What? Nothing even happened to his daughter. I was hoping she would get killed or something." Besides that being a horrible thing to say, it's very true. Despite all that, this is a highly satisfying movie...in a guilty pleasure way of course!

Best Corny Line: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

5.She’s the Man (2006): For reasons I can't fully comprehend, this movie makes me laugh out loud every time. And not in that "haha this script is so bad, I'm laughing". I legitimately think this movie is funny. It doesn't really fall under the corny movie category (except the part where she is playing soccer in the pink dress. I cringe because it is so lame). The best parts are when Amanda Bynes is in drag. Her little round face just makes me laugh. She has pretty good timing and I like the snappy dialouge. This is a teen movie, so I doubt adults will see the charm...however, I fall into this age group...so I find joy in this film.

Nothing I could say would be funnier than the picture

This movie does have flaws. I know I have built it up to be the greatest comedy of all time (haha). It isn't. I don't like the ending or any scene when Amanda Bynes is actually a girl (with the exception of the bathroom fight). Channing Tatum is awkward. I don't find his character appealing, even though he is the outside cocky jock who is really just a sensitive shy-with-girls guy...I'm sorry, is that supposed to be attractive?

Best Line: "I skipped a couple grades. I'm brilliant. Shhh."

6. Footloose (1984): I just watched the end of this movie (different day than when I was watching The Mummy). It is one of my favorite endings. I actually don't really like this movie that much...except for the dance scenes! That is why this movie fits under such a category, because the dance scenes are soooo cheesey. I couldn't even pick a favorite but if I did, it would either be "Let's Hear it for the Boy" (when Ren teaches Willard how to dance) or the end dance scene where "Footloose" plays. Kenny Loggins will always be my man. That scene is truly epic. I wish people danced like that at school dances...instead they prefer to hump each other on the dance floor... but to each his own. You know, for a bunch of hicks who apparently aren't allowed to dance...they got some moves! For your viewing pleasure, I give you FOOTLOOSE! (The intro is stupid. I couldn't find a better one)

Best Corny Line:  "You're a goddamn hero when it's five to one" [Karate kick IN THE FACE]

7. The Benchwarmers: This is actually the best baseball movie ever made...haha just kidding. Although, I do think it's funny. I don't care that it is mindless laughter. I still laugh. I am actually LOLing at the moment as I'm looking at the quotes from this movie.  David Spade, Rob  Schneider, the guy from Napolean Dynamite? UHHHH YEAH OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT. The best scene is without a doubt the one with the Cuban (or Dominican, I'm not good with nationalities) illegal baseball player...I like the music they play when he is running around the field....anyways, it is a pretty stupid movie but it's dear to my heart. BEEF STEW! BEEF STEW!
I wear a helmet when I play baseball

Best Line: "Wow,I always wondered who lived here, I just thought it was Clay Aiken or something."

8. Hocus Pocus (1993): I used to rent this A LOT. This was back when blockbuster was actuallyused.Even today, it is one of my staple Halloween movies. I can't get through october without watching it. This is one of those movies you think nobody else likes, and then you mention it and they're like "OMGGGGG I LOVE HOCUS POCUS". I actually was never ashamed of this movie until two years ago when I was watching it. I started to realize how unbelievably corny it is, as well as how many innuendos there are.

 Pretty much every line that comes out of the main guys mouth makes me cringe a little. It could be because he is actually super creepy. The best thing in the movie is the witches...the Sanderson Sisters. Ahhh so great. I wish they were real (I am no longer a child, I don't fear them eating me or whatever). I also like the cat (his human version is McGee from NCIS!). He is pretty darn sarcastic. Despite all these things, this movie is the best. No Halloween is complete without watching it.

I haven't seen someone so excited to see a book
since the King Jame's Bible came out!

Best Corny Line: "Of course, I couldn't wear anything like that because I don't have any - what do you call them, Max? Yabbos?"

 I used to call boobs yabbos...then I turned 5....

9. The Princess Diaries (2001): Honestly, this shouldn't even be a guilty pleasure movie. It has Julie freakin Andrews in it! That's like saying The Sound of  Music is too corny (uhmm...actually it is) to be a good film. I love this movie. It is just so on par with my high school experience. I mean, one day I was just a girl with frizzy hair who people sat on accidentally, then the next I was told I was a princess! Of course, I ended up being trapped in a meat locker in Siberia for a couple days...turns out I wasn't a princess...it was just an internet ad that I fell for...

I wouldn't want to meet THAT in a dark alley.

Anyways, I have seen this movie so many times. I can't even begin to explain it's magic. I love the end when they are all dancing, I love the softball scene, and I love the foot poppin' kiss!

Best Corny Line: "I don't want to rule my own country, I just want to pass the tenth grade!"

 10. Legally Blonde (2001): This movie made me want to be a lawyer. Of course, I soon realized that if I became one, I probably couldn't win most of my cases by analyzing a witness's choice of hairstyle. This movie is plain awesome. It's always on T.V. I probably watch it about five times a year. Really, if you are not charmed by Elle Wood's, there is something wrong with you. Also, who can forget the bend and snap? It has a 98% effectiviness!

She just realized that the last time her hairstyle
looked even remotely good was 1987

 I know the plot is predictable and the romance is cliche, but this movie is just so great I look past all of it. This movie just makes me happeh. I could watch it a million times and never get bored. It has a good cast. Reese Witherspoon before she became an A-lister. Luke Wilson before he got fat and did AT&T commercials...oh, yes...his glory days indeed! As well as many other actors we all know and love.

Best Corny Line: "Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated."

So, there they are! My top guilty pleasure movies. I actually would like to rename this Favorite Movies of All Time part II, because that is what they really are. Hehe. Anyways, ciao for nowwwwww.


  1. If you like Diane Kruger, you should watch Troy. Great movie, but stop watching it 20 minutes from the end.

  2. That's another one she is in! Thank you. Yeah, I know what you mean about stopping 20 minutes before it's over haha. I admit, I like the movie mostly because of all the attractive men. However, there are so awesome fight scenes!