February 27, 2012

Top 5 moments of I'll take You to the Picture Show

It's been a strange journey. This all started as a project for my Culminating Project...and has ended as just a project for my CP. It's nice to think that I've made it in the internet circuit (I haven't) but in the grand scheme of things, where there are Tumblr's that have more followers than I have page views, shit just isn't as good as it sounds.

However, I stuck with it and managed to give a few of my mates and some people in Malaysia as good laugh (theoretically). I have enough evidence to show that I actually did  this AND that some people actually read it. It's been fun. I apologize if it hasn't always been as sophisticated and mature as some people would hope, or that sometimes I'm not the best at proof reading and making sure everything is readable. But the important thing (to me at least) is that I have enjoyed it, and even if there are only five people who regularly read...I hope they enjoyed it too. It's not much, but this is my baby and  I am hoping that in the future I will be known for my literary genius.

Awww just like you

So, let's take a a trip down memory lane and relive the good ol' days with the most popular posts!

1. Favorite Member of the Fellowship

This post created in June somehow has gotten 20% of all the views. I think it's because everyone realizes just how awesome The Fellowship is...AND of course, the glorious fan art that I found on the web.

I realize now that I shouldn't have tortured you all so soon after starting. 

This was in honor of my going to see all three movies EXTENDED EDITION in theaters. At the time it was the most wonderful experience I had with my beloved movie franchise. Until I saw the live concert version, that is.

I will never be able to not watch it like this.

Reading it again, I realize that it's not very good. The material that I'm working with is solid, but I don't really like it that much. It was fun taking the polls, but in the end the results pissed me off, so I ended up ranting at the ones I disagreed with. What I really enjoyed (and that I did with earlier posts) is the extra quotes I added. It makes me happy.

Almost as much as you

"In all reality, if it hadn't been for Smeagol, who knows if the ring would have even been destroyed! If it takes someone biting off your finger in order for you to get your ass in gear, you have some serious problems."

2. Thanks a lot Stephenie Meyer (Random thoughts on the Eclipse movie)

This was one of the only ones done on a complete whim. I was watching Eclipse and suddenly was inspired. Back then, I used to think of any way I could make a new post...now I just have king kong on my back, forcing me to complete at LEAST one per month. I've become this person.
Seriously, fuck you. SIX FUCKING YEARS.

This one was good because it was structured differently than everything else, and was really just my thoughts. I didn't have to research anything at all...and this was the first time I started putting random pictures in that had absolutely no relevance. Overall, it was entertaining to write and read, so no problems. 

Plus, I got to talk about my home in the Pacific Northwest and make fun of everyone who doesn't understand us.

Mistake number 1: Seattleites don't use umbrellas

I also enjoyed how I said I felt neutral about Twilight, but then I started ripping on it anyways. THEY MAKE IT SO EASY.

So, thank you Stephenie Meyer...and your god damn ridiculously spelt name.


"Also, it's really kind of sad that Bella can't get her boyfriend to have sex with her. And saying "Just try" with uncomfortable music playing REALLY could confuse someone who is watching out of context. Edward wants to keep both their virtue in tact (yeah, REAL subtle Stephenie Meyer) because "its the one rule" he "wants to leave unbroken"...

...yeah that's not the only thing that's going to remain unbroken. OHHHH ZING!
 10 points to me." 

3. Watching Titanic: A rundown on the most successful film of all time?

What is it with these posts where I watch movies and give a play-by-play? Ah yes, the infamous Titanic post about the infamous sinking of the infamous ship starring the infamous Leo.

Look at him. Strutting his shit like he owns the place.

Looking back, I am a little embarrassed about how emotional I got about this movie.

Never let your emotions get into your work.

This was nice because I got to put Bill Paxton (you glorious man) in a post about a movie he was actually in (because he has so few good ones). I'm making it a goal to get him into 75% of the posts.

Rough estimate

I actually think this was one of the more consistent posts. Solid all around...I'm actually LOLing re-reading it. I have no shame laughing at my own jokes...somebody has to.


"First scene: He is smoking a cigarette, playing poker, and saying a smooth line. It's supposed to make him look cool and crafty, but I actually laughed out loud...because I sort of hate Leo."

"She thought I said let's play poker and black jack,
when really I said I want to poke-her with my Jack...
if ya know what I mean."


4. Lord of the Rings Characters and their High School Equivalents 

This is probably my favorite of all time. I remember when it suddenly came to me...the epiphany that LOTR was really just another movie about high school. I think it's the most entertaining, and a lot of people told me they liked it...so, I guess it's a winner.

I enjoyed the fact that I was able to add in and make comparisons to other high school movies. It really made the jump much easier to understand. 

Because I'm sure when you say LOTR is a high school movie, people get confused.

Like how did Frodo become Patrick Dempsey? 

I'll admit I took some liberties with certain characters (like Elrond) when making comparisons and purists have gotten on my ass about that. But really, it's much funnier this way...have a sense of humor. 


"It's Frodo Baggins. Ha! He doesn't know that I know
he is on his way to Mordor...lol"

I think this really captures the spirit of the post.

5. Best High School Movies

I actually really, really don't like this post. Reading it sounds like I was on crack when I wrote it. I rant endlessly about bullshit. It's not concise and has no really big idea that I tie together. Rethink the thesis too. Also, I might want to consider having it revised before I turn it in. 


Urgh. It's actually bumming me out (I'm taking cues from Clueless slang) how much this post sucks. I can't even read it. CRAP CRAP CRAP.


Leather Jacket, Cigs, and a chest strappedbomb.
 It must be true love


Now, let's take a good hard look at the posts that I think deserve a little more love. I don't know how the went under the radar, but these are some of my favs. Now you have no excuse.

1. Undercover as a Twilight Fan: My trip to Forks, Washington

Like all posts concerned with Twilight (there seem to be a lot of them), this one allowed me to talk endlessly about the awesomeness that is the PNW. It was also by far the most interactive post I have have made...based on real emotions at the time.I wrote a story. I real story worthy of anything Stephenie Meyer has ever done.

I realize this is the second time this picture has been featured on this post. But the night is still young. 

All of the events did happen, in case there are any suspicions that they did not (because I have been asked if all this actually happened). I really did meet a Park Ranger who will be my future husband (though he may disagree), a giant cloud really did suddenly pop up as soon as we entered city limits, and my mom really did make lame Twilight puns.

Yes, it all happened...even if I did intend for it to be written like a Bella Swan POV...because really, she is my inspiration for everything.

I want to have a smile like that 


"At this point there were about three things I was absolutely positive. 

First, Park Ranger McStudly was a park ranger. 

Second, there was a part of him-and I didn’t know how dominate that part might be-that thought I was bat shit insane.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

Quoting myself, while also quoting Twilight. BOOM.

2. Similarities between Harry Potter, LOTR, Star Wars, and Twilight

I quite enjoyed this one because I got to make a ton of shitty images on windows paint.


Sure, some of it was a stretch...but not enough of one for there not to be a million crackpot theories on the web about how Harry Potter is secretly the love child of Gandalf and Princess Leia. It wasn't really an article like most posts, mostly just images and strange similarities. I liked it...and I'm sure people who don't like to read would too!


And Mrs. Meyer manages to make an appearance ONCE AGAIN.

3. 10 Amusing/Ridiculous Movie Descriptions on Instant Netflix

They actually are quite ridiculous. Of course,  the movies themselves might just be idiotic. I wouldn't know. I tried to not show any bias by actually seeing the movie.

I still want to see Rubber

I enjoyed researching this and trying to come up with logical questions as to what these movies were about.

Mostly I just asked myself "What the hell?"


The Hebrew Hammer: "This hilarious tribute to the Blaxploitation genre stars Adam Goldberg as Mordechai, an Orthodox Jewish "superhero detective" who joins the Jewish Justice League to stop the evil Damien, son of Santa, who aims to wipe out Hanukkah forever."

What could I possibly say?
This plot is very illogical. Why would the son of Santa plot to destroy Hanukkah? If anything, the son of the Hanukkah Armadillo would try to destory Christmas...because everyone knows Hanukkah is like the fat sister who eats too much bread (ironic?) of the holiday season. Also, how is a movie about Jewish superhero detectives a tribute to the Blaxploitation genre? Are they trying to butter up Kwanza now too? 

4. Top Ten Guilty Pleasure Movies

Even though I'm sure most people don't care to hear all the mundane, stupid movies I secretly enjoy, I think this is quality. I got personal...and people seemed to appreciate me bring back memories of some fantastically cheesy movies.

I have considered making a Part II (because there are many-a movies I consider "guilty pleasures")...but I just haven't gotten around to it.


The Princess Diaries
"Honestly, this shouldn't even be a guilty pleasure movie. It has Julie freakin Andrews in it! That's like saying The Sound of  Music is too corny (uhmm...actually it is) to be a good film. I love this movie. It is just so on par with my high school experience. I mean, one day I was just a girl with frizzy hair who people sat on accidentally, then the next I was told I was a princess! Of course, I ended up being trapped in a meat locker in Siberia for a couple days...turns out I wasn't a princess...it was just an email some scammer sent me..."

Trying a little too hard, you ask? Yes.

5. Movie Star Food Ads

I was a little (more like really) peeved that practically no one has read this one. I worked so hard (on paint) to create these. I had to use every once of clever creativity I had (because puns are so hard) to make these. I had to get the coloring and COB's just right. 

It was a battle.

I also will add that Mark Wahlberg just happened to open a restaurant called Wahlburgers...

Coincidence or Conspiracy?


At first, I had it so there was a piece in his hand like he was going to eat it...but then I realized that could be taken the wrong way by imature people (me), so I un-did that. Nice braid, BTW. 

The important thing is that he finallly has some work.

Oh friends, I know it's been awhile since I have posted. My job here is technically done, but I hope I will still be able to update more. We'll see. If not, we always will have Paris.

I still fucking hate Casablanca

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