July 31, 2011

Movie Star Food Ads

Sometimes, to pay the bills when times are tough actors do endorsments for companies. Little do they know that their names are PERFECT for new products. I decided to create these hypothetical advertisments... just in case the companies realize my genius.

You see, a magical thing happens when I'm in a room with windows paint. I have been told I'm some kind of paint wizard, the best this side of photoshop. Now, I have never used photoshop before, so I don't know if you're expecting that kind of quality. I can tell you I don't have money to pay for it. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills in using ghetto paint to make masterpieces. Now, mix that with my love of puns and movies, and boy...do you have a show.

Leonardo Di Caprio for Starbucks

Yes, I did just steal Folgers tagline. But it's Starbucks, they can do whatever the hell they want.

Reese Witherspoon for Sweet N' Low

I am not sure why all her props are oversized.

Mark Wahlberg for McDonalds

I think the MOST important thing that comes from this is that there is a gun that shoots ketchup...or catsup. Where'da legs go Marky-Mark?

David Bowie for Lean Cuisine

What a classy color combination. Also, he looks like he's wiping his mouth...so it's like he already ate it...and I bet it was delicious.

Sean Bean for Bush's Beans

Yeah...it's obvious but how could I NOT have the love of my life in there when the opportunity was calling for him? Anything to see that face.

Ava Gardner for Wendy's

Dear Ava,
I apologize for degrading you to an ad for Wendy's. If it helps, you totally classed it up. Plus, Wendy's is the best, so be grateful I didn't slap your face onto Burger King or something equally horendous.

Orlando Bloom for Outback

At first, I had it so there was a piece in his hand like he was going to eat it...but then I realized that could be taken the wrong way by imature people (me), so I un-did that. Nice braid, BTW.

The important thing is that he finallly has some work.

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