July 14, 2011

The Harry Potter Movie Rank!

The day is upon us. You know exactly what I'm talking about: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II. It has been almost 11 years since the first movie came out...I am actually having a hard time believing that. It is very sad to see the series end. Remember four years ago when the last book came out and everyone said "Chin up! We still have three movies to go!" well...now, we don't.
Harry Potter was a large part of my formative years. In junior high I was a total HP geek. I read the books constantly. I thought about Harry Potter all the time. I acted as though the characters and I were good friends. I would make HP references... I was really weird (some would say awesome)...yet I am proud of my past devotion. If there was a test on HP I would rock that shit.

Anyways, I had a mucho love for Harry Potter and though I have grown past it (almost), I am still sad to see it go. This was my childhood. No other group of kids grew up with HP like the one I belong to. Harry Potter is OUR generation. We grew up with Daniel Radcliff, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson. We were all kids when the last book came out. DH Prt 2 is our last hurrah. It isn't just the end of a franchise...it's so much more. Never again will we have a new HP movie to look forward to. Never again will the mystery of "how close will it be to the book" or will we think "I hope the don't mess this shit up". I look forward to it but I have a feeling that I will be crying come tonight...and not just because (SPOILER ALERT) Harry dies. OHHHHHHHHH sorry.

Anyways, lame emotions aside, I decided it appropriate to list the movies IN ORDER from worst to best.

7. Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix (2007): I can't even watch this one. It's boring and ruins the book for me. I know that was necassary to chop it down a bit, but did they really have to make the longest book the shortest movie? It just wasn't good. Every scene was dissapointing. The book is my second favorite but the movie is total bullshit! Nothing was like a imagined it would be and the scenes were confusing. Ok, I'm probably really biased here...I had read this one many times before the movie came out, so it couldn't break my mental image of events like the previous ones had. However, I doubt anyone is disagreeing with me. SO. MUCH. DISLIKE. I will say though, that during the part in the Department of Mysteries when Harry is having a spazz attack because of Voldemort is pretty good. I get a little teary eyed when he is having the flashbacks from all the other movies.

Law & Order: Hogwarts

6. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002): Eh. I don't like this movie because it doesn't do the book justice. Everyone seems to hate the book but I love it, and the film just made everyones dislike worse! The best part is definitely when they're cruisin' in that sweet Ford Angela, especially when Ron falls out of the car.The fun stops there because all the other scenes were taken out! I was especially upset because the deathday scene was not in it. That could have been SO cool. This movie sucked at following the book. Stuff was left out andother stuff was jumbled around. AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE VALENTINE TELEGRAM THING. So dissapointing. It's only other saving grace was Lockhart...he's the best.
"You're dead Potter"

5. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (2009): This one makes me LOL. I think it's one of the funniest...probably because they wanted to offset the fact that Voldemort is taking over Great Britain (has anyone else thought that they should just move?). It's definitely a transitional story. Everything is being set up for the final showdown. I think it translates better on screen because I HATE the book. If you read the blurb it pretty much says "Lord Voldemort comes out of the shadows, causing mischeif and taking over the goverment. Despite all this shit going down, life goes on as Harry and his friends turn from naive children to horny teenagers." Teenage angst at it's finest.

SO. AWKWARD...his eyes are closed.

4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I (2010): This one is kind of like the book for me. Since it isn't normal formula, I almost don't count it as HP. That aside, I think this one is the best, especially because it follows the book perfectly. I wouldn't expect less, since it has been split into two movies for that very purpose. I can't think of anything they didn't put in. Very well done. The only reason it isn't higher on the list is because it's SO emotional to watch (just like the book), so one can't exactly watch it while sipping cocoa and decorating the Christmas tree.

Sweet Bill Paxton sweater, Harry

3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004): Ahh yes, I siriusly love this movie. It's not my favorite but it's pretty darn close. This one was directed by that Alfonso guy who only did one of the movies. I must say, the one time directors for HP are the best. Anyways, he brought a little bit of flair to the series. I can't really explain it...but I liked it. This was after the super fantasy of Chris Columbus (where everyone was wearing robes all the time and throwing simple spells around) and before the darker version of David Yates (torture scenes, anyone? Crucio). Of course, that could just be because of the material. POA is the book where things are less innocent but still optimistic...Voldemort isn't even in it. The movie is almost the universal favorite, according to my research...which I'll admit is pretty much looking at one poll.

"Easy...yeah, that's a nice computer generated half bird thing"

2.Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001): This movie brings me back. It's crazy how young all the actors were! The first movie is worth the watch just to see little 11 year olds learning how to use their wands...GET YO MIND OUTTA THE GUTTER. Everything is so innocent and magical. When I look at the later movies where people are getting eaten by snakes, I think "What the hell happened?!?" of course it really is just showing them maturing and becoming bright witchez and wizardzzzz! I'm not dissapointed when I miss this one on Harry Potter weekends (not like when I miss the Fellowship on LOTR weekends...that is the WORST) and when I watched it in french class, I fell asleep. However it still has a dear place in my heart and I can appreciate it's amazingness. PLUS, Oliver Wood gets decent screen time...he is my favorite book character. NBD. This is the only one I will count as a "Christmas Movie" because for some reason it just is. It's on 25 days of Christmas and this one has the ONLY decent holiday scene in the movies. So because of it's holiday warming effects, it is automatically higher on the list.

You may want to take a laxative...if ya know what I mean

1. Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire (2005):Best book and best movie. Good job people! I'm so glad they didn't mess this one up. There are a couple reasons it is so great. First, it has a slighlty different make-up than all the others (Deathly Hallows omitted)...The Triwizard tournament! I think this adds a lot more to an average year at Hogwarts. It is much more structured...and everyone knows I like a good amount of structure. Also, there is so much mystery to who is trying to kill Harry. J.K Rowling likes to tease us...who knew in the end it was Doctor Who! (I would also like to add that I miss David Tennant and I hate the new incarnation...but that is irrelevant at the moment). This is also the movie with Rpattz...and HE DIES. It's fun to make Twilight jokes while watching. Kind of like makingTitanic jokes while watching Inception. And the Yule Ball scene is one of my favorites from all the HP movies...Hermione's dress is so classy, even if it's not to the book.

Harry Potter IV: A New Hope

Well shall see how Part II goes into the rankings. So far, reviews have been good. I expect to have one by tomorow afternoon...or something like that. Writing this was just what I needed to get in the HP mood! Now, I'm pumped and my costume is awesome BTW.

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